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Santa, Baby...

Hey, Hey, Hey! The holiday season is in full swing, or as full swing as one can be in 2021, and it's sneaking up on me PER. THE. NORM. I still have a St. Patrick's Day plaque on my door mixed with mums, hay and pumpkins from literally October. I also just hate how stressed out I get over the holidays, instead of Christmas music I want to listen to "Bitch don't kill my vibe" over and over again because Jesus' birthday is that special time where it has nothing to do with Jesus' birthday for literally anyone at all and we all lose sleep over who sucks worse as parents by comparing what everyone else did for theirs, and honestly, I'm gonna say it, some of you are INSANE but to each is own so good for you! Very Bah Humbug over here but not because I don't enjoy serving other people or volunteering or donating to a good cause but, because I'm stressed ALL THE WAY OUT. This morning though, something came over me as I drove the five minutes to a friend's house to drop off gifts. I volunteered to provide for a family in need of a little extra things this year for their family and I'm not going to lie, it made me really emotional. My heart definitely grew three times today and honestly, that's not good for my heart if you know me at all! LOL!

Let me take you back a couple of years. I was in a dead-end job making shit money with three kids and every single Christmas, I felt like a failure even if we pulled it off somehow every single year, we haven't always done it alone. I am friends with an incredible woman across the country from me that I'm lucky enough to call my friend and I'll never forget the times she had went out of her way to make sure my kids had what they truly wanted. One year it was finding LOL Dolls for Landry, another year her family provided an AMERICAN GIRL DOLL that Landry was DYING to have, and I was FREAKING OUT about figuring out because you have to basically sell your organs on the black market to support that rite of passage. She was our Santa; THEY were our Santa. They supplied the magic those years and yes, it was 100% for the kids and their happiness but, they gave me a peace of mind that I needed in the moment more than anything as well. Thinking back on all of that while driving literally brought me to tears and not because I was thinking back on all the "woe is me" Christmas' but, because I'm FINALLY in a position to be that peace of mind that got me by for someone else who needs it more than I do this year. I remember thanking my friend and promising her that one day I would pay it forward and be the person I needed when she so graciously swooped in, and this year was my year and I'm just overwhelmed with gratitude at all of the opportunities I've been presented and all the hard work I've put in to get where I'm at to be here right now. Most importantly, I'm SO grateful that I made that promise and that I was able to keep it.

I still have not bought my own children like anything really, so I'll be stressing some more until the day of BUT, today was a good day and a really good reminder of what this season and LIFE is all about, playing your part in this wild ass village you exist in and paying it forward as you evolve into WHATEVER it is you are striving to be in this life. Alright, alright.... I'm gonna say it......You ready...

*** All jokes aside, please consider being the peace of mind this year if you're able. You have no idea how much it helps another human being just enjoy the moment. ***

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