Good morning, beautiful people! I hope you had the time of your life last night like a summer at Kellerman's!
First and foremost, GOOD RIDDANCE 2021! While it was another doozy of a year, I will say I have to highlight some things, my children and the people I love the most are all healthy and mostly happy (it's 2022 we ALL have reasons to not be over the moon happy ALL the time, let's be honest), while my career is challenging for me at the moment (challenging isn't a bad thing at all BTW), I am where I wanted to end my career and it's only up from here still. I've learned lessons that I thought would break me and yet here I stand. All my best guy friends make fun of me for being vain and over the top but honestly, I'm just really proud of how far I've come in such a short time, and I deserve this moment of confidence and feeling empowered, I'm also doing my best to give that back out to the world. I want EVERYONE to be this confident and proud of their accomplishments, it didn't happen overnight and honestly it ONLY happened after being really disappointed and hurt and having really shitty people do things for me, that I repeatedly and publicly praised them for, only to say later how I could not be where I was without them, AS. IF. So, I made it a point to prove to everyone that I don't NEED a soul and if I'm spending my time and energy on you, it's because I want you in my life and not because I need you for anything. I got to a place where I realized that I will ALWAYS be okay. I will ALWAYS figure it out because I have to do my best in this life, not even for myself but for the little people that are QUICKLY growing into big people that I have watching me and thinking I'm the coolest thing that ever walked the planet (alright, maybe not the teenager, he's cooler than life and will not admit that he thinks I'm rad but, just know kid if you're reading this, I be knowin! Where do you think you got your cool from, your FATHER?! K. lol) I haven't had a soul celebrate anything about me or any of my accomplishments and they were pretty grand and a really big deal to me and THAT disappointment is what pushed me to be my own biggest cheerleader for once in my life. It's really hard for me to be selfish, I'm a people pleaser to a fault and I will exhaust myself to make whatever happen for the people I love, I'm talking STRESSED OUT on the inside and it often reflects on the outside because it's THAT intense, the more I expected other people to celebrate me, the more disappointed I got. Until I started celebrating myself, now I'm dangerous. I know my worth, I know what I bring to the table, and I know that I can do ANYTHING I put my mind to like my father always told me. This year had a lot of downs, and it was messy and seemed like one bad thing after the next happened because it did but, I needed all of that, my guides and God put those roadblocks in front of me to teach me something, something that will surely help me and hopefully the generations that comes after me.
I did pull a Tarot card this morning asking what I can focus on for the new year and honestly, it makes a lot of sense for me, and I hope that you can take something away from it as well, it's a good reminder for me. The 7 of Wands in reverse. I'm going to just quote the excerpt from the guide that my deck came with because it really resonated with me, and I didn't need to dive into to it to know that it made sense for me...
"So many people spend their precious lives fighting for things that are not worth fighting for: time frittered away on petty disputes. Also they can fight with true strength and will, but it is for the wrong cause. Grandiosity lavished on a poor idea, huge claims and yet nothing to back them up with. Release anxiety. Stop fighting for the wrong cause. Walk away from confrontation." -Starman Tarot Guide
Look, I am NOT one to walk away from confrontation, I'm just not. If I do, it's most definitely for someone else and not me OR I'm at work because I'm naturally coming for blood and bringing receipts but, I'll try my damnedest because MAYBE that's why I have the issues I do now, I fight for EVERYONE even if it has nothing to do with me and maybe I need to focus on the worthy causes I've been neglecting in my own life first. It's like me telling people to mind their own business then stepping in and involving myself in other people's business because I think they can't handle it themselves, that's just the Virgo in me lol. I'm gonna work on that. Like, "Colleen, you're a trainwreck. Bold to assume that YOU can handle this for someone else and they can't when they ARENT a trainwreck." It's me, not you.... I mean not always though lol! I think this just calls me to 1. pick my battles a little better this year. And 2. While it's not in my nature to turn down a fight, maybe I should start trying. I really do not intend to start fights but, I was trained my whole life to end one and I take that role very seriously, thanks Dad. I think THAT mentality is what I need to work on.
In a nutshell, I fully plan on treating 2022 like some weird old dude that's into being dominated and abused. Get your ball gag ready, ya dirty betch, I ain't too proud to peg! I'm coming in hot in black vinyl!!! :::throws up heart shaped gang sign:::
In all honesty, I really do wish you all the very best that 2022 has to offer us. We've all been through the ringer the last two years, mental health issues are at an all-time high, natural disasters and turmoil and division within our own country, can we please make 2022 the year that we unite as human beings and help one another through this shit life by helping one another see the beauty in everything around us? If they can't find the silver linings, point it out to them. Life is hard, it takes a village and I think it's a good time for all of us to dig deep inside of our own souls and see what we are doing to be part of the problem these days so that we CAN figure out how to be a part of the solution instead. Dig deep for empathy without losing yourself in everyone else, and I'm the first to admit that it's a VERY delicate balance but, we got this. We all have a Glinda the good witch in our own guardian angels and guides, and I'm here to remind you that "you had the power all along, my dear". I think we do not give ourselves enough credit and we can be the change we desperately need if we all band together instead of tearing one another down.
Thank you so much, as always, for your ongoing support and love. This has been a really good outlet for me to get my words out without being interrupted and that is HUGE for a rambler with ADHD who isn't afraid to talk about uncomfortable things. I DO ask that you interact with me more, I WANT to hear your feedback and opinions, that's why I started this thing. I enjoy interaction, I love hearing other sides. If you have an idea or a better way to interact, shoot me an email at Colleen@thatshitcrae.com and I'll look into it! Lastly, if you have any upcoming fundraisers or local business and/or products you think we ALL need to check out, let me know! I have big plans in the new year so keep an eye out for me because I have lots of local projects up my sleeve with some PRETTY cool (and equally if not funnier than me) people.
All the love, blessings, good health, support, confidence and empowerment to you and yours in 2022, put the work in for yourself so that you can, in turn, give that support back to other people when you're whole again. Life is a game of give and take, help the ones who really need it, stop wasting time on the ones who don't and never lose focus on yourself and your brand or goal for other people and if YOU need to be the taker make sure you surround yourself with the people in life who don't abandon you when you're down for once or kick you when you're already down.